Bloody Rampage
by SebbyNinja666
Summary: *I do not own Kuroshiitsuji or Hellsing*oneshot* Alucard is going for a walk, and Sebastian was sent on another one of Ceil's errands (which turns out to be pointless like half the things Sebastian is forced to do) and the two bump into each other in time for a bloody battle.


**Bloody Rampage**

**(A/N: Before I even begin, I am going to clearly state before you even start reading, that Alucard is taking on his 'Hellsing abridged' persona (mostly because I can't be bothered to watch Hellsing, and five pages of manga isn't really helping anyone.) That said I do NOT own 'Hellsing' or 'Kuroshitsuji'. Now onward with the Madness! *insane laughter*)**

In the moonlit street two figures headed towards, one clad in black and the other in red. The paid no mind to each other the thought about their own problems. _I just have a feeling those bumbling idiots and that hyper girl are destroying the mansion, the little brat really picked the best time to send me away on this stupid mission._

The black-clad demon strode on worrying about all the cleaning he would have to do upon his arrival at 'home. While the red clad vampire thought, _I wonder when that Integra bitch is gonna call me up to scream at me, I told her I was taking a walk, besides I still got tons of vacation days. The Crimson Fucker is on the quest to bust some skulls!_

The red vampire arrogantly strode along in the middle of the street, as if he owned it, in comparison to the demon who was silently stalking along in the shadows. Their footsteps echoed off the hard ground, seeming out of place as the approached the abandoned Vatican-styled church.

The demon stopped for a fraction of a second, recognizing the stench of blood and death that hung around the vampire, taking in his slow strut the demon glared at his back, _for such a lesser being, it certainly is arrogant. I'd _almost_ prefer that red-haired pervert._

The vampire paid the demon no mind as the approached the double doors on the one holy place then spoke, "What's a thing like _you_ doing here?"

The demon's eyes flashed pink from annoyance, _now I have to socialize with the Neanderthal._ "I'm running an important errand for Earl Phantomhive, what is a leech like _you_ doing here?"

The Crimson vampire flashed the demon a sharp toothed grin and replied, "I'm taking a walk," as if the demon was supposed to know what it was supposed to mean. "I'm Alucard by the way, but you can call me the Crimson Fucker." That same sharp-toothed grin spread across the vampires face, and the demon looked on, un-amused.

_Such a vulgar name suits a low-life,_ "Sebastian." Not wanting to further converse, the demon shoved open the door and stepped into the large, open circular room.

The glass dome above had been shattered recently, and shards of glass broke beneath the feet of the night creatures. "This blows, I wanted to rip some heads off, I even broke out my special gun. At least last time I got to piss off that bastard Christian Anderson. Then there's the collateral damage…" A sadistic smile crept across the rowdy vampires face as he remembered the carnage he had created on his last 'walk'.

Sebastian looked on un-amused, trying to sense the presence of any beings, _I told the young master not to trust the spider's incompetent associates, but like always he didn't listen, and now I'm stuck with the ramblings of this nuisance._

He threw a glance as the reminiscing vampire who looked over at the raven-demon, "Hey, you wanna fight?"

"No. I have things to do and they don't consist of playing with gutter rat children." With that the demon turned sharply, only to see the door slam shut from some grotesque thing that dropped from the ceiling. The demon checked his watch, before throwing a knife into the things head, while a shot fired simultaneously.

Throwing an irritated glance back at the vampire, Sebastian quickly scolded him, "You _toy_ is much too loud, you'll attract more, not that they would be attracted to soulless beings." _Not more of these damn zombies, I thought I had gotten rid of that shinigami when the boat sank._

"This isn't a toy, it's a gun, it's much more effective than," the vampire paused and looked over at the dead creature, "…silverware?"

"I have no need for guns; they are too loud and require too much maintenance."

There was a long pause, as the demon stood still, listening to the creaking structure of the abandoned church as a slight breeze blew through. The vampire looked all around, annoyed there wasn't anything to kill, muttering about how he should've gone back to Brazil.

The creaking morphed into slight vibration in the ancient stone floor, as the doors in the back of the room flew open, and broke off of its rusty hinges. "Oh hell yeah not it's a party!" The Vampire exclaimed while clumsily shooting off a round of bullets.

The demon, irritated by the amount of noise the ruffian was making, joined in, easily dismembering and skewering the strange beasts, a lot faster than the bullets. Tearing flesh and bone, along with gunshots enveloped the large room. Blood and bits of flesh poured out onto the ancient floor, filling the room with an even stronger smell of blood and death.

The last of the seemingly endless wave of zombie-esque humans, fell to the floor with a muffled thump, as the demon paused, "There someone still here."

The vampire, coated in blood, held his smoking gun and looked around, "I don't hear or see anything, what are you smoking? Have you been in the orphan tears?"

_What is this idiot talking about, what do the tears of an orphan have to do with this?_ Sighing, and shaking his head, the demon simply crossed the gory blood-soaked room and headed through the back hall. "Wait for me, the Crimson Fucker is in the zone and I wanna bust some more skulls! There's not nearly enough collateral damage!"

Heavy footsteps thudded after the demon, who thought, _for graceful creatures this thing sure is loud._ The demon slowly worked his way down the hall as the presence of soul gradually grew stronger. The ancient paintings that hung on the wall were being made crooked as the pair made their way down the hall. _Too bad that Integra bitch isn't here to see this! I wonder where she's gonna call me, we haven't made near enough of a commotion yet! Enough bodies haven't hit the floor!_

Suddenly stopping at the last door on the left at the end of the hall the demon pushed open the door and stepped into a red room. An albino human was sitting in the center of the giant room, in front of a laptop, looking glassy eyed and holding a razor blade. Blood dripped form her wrist and she stared down at the satanic marking in the book she was holding.

The demon chuckled and casually leaned against the wall, as if he had all night, "You're drawing those upside down, if we are gaining human supporters the least you can do is drawn our markings correctly."

The girl quickly focused on the black haired demon, "They're supposed to be that way! I know what I'm doing! I'm a third generation practice of the dark arts!"

Quickly shifting gears the demon asked, "Where's the sword?"

The girl eyes him irritably and began drawing more symbols onto some paper in her own blood. _I'm surprised she was able to summon those, with symbols that bad, the young master has more competence in these things._ "That's none of your damn business! Master told me you'd be coming! You aren't going to give it to the dark father so why should I give it to you!"

Alucard popped in through the wall screaming, "Hey kid, you wanna see a dead body!?"

The girl simply swore loudly, "Dammit you ingrate! I messed up!"

"I'm not 'ingrate'," the vampire said while stepping through the wall, "I'm the Crimson Fucker!"

"That suits you better, now go have a _fucking crimson_ orgy with all the red you left in the front lobby!"

"I'd much rather read your mind by drinking your blood."

Leaping across the room to stand in front of the stupid girl the, demon's eyes flashed pink, "You can't kill her, she has information I need."

"She can't help you, she's just a twerp."

"I'm a high priestess in the dark order you Crimson Fucker!"

"Thank you; but you're still a damn twerp. Wouldn't reading her mind be a lot easier than asking for information?"

The demon glanced back at the girl, who's failed attempt at summoning something she wouldn't be able to take control of lay half crumpled on the floor next to her, _humans are so incompetent._ "Fine."

Stepping to the side the vampire dropped his glasses to the floor and yanked the girl off the floor, piercing the flesh on her neck with his sharp teeth. Blood stained her porcelain skin as the vampire did whatever he said he was doing.

The girl's heart stopped beating as he body slumped to the floor, "It's those damn Nazis!"

Sighing, the demon glared at the vampire, "What do Nazis have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" The high pitched ringing of a cell phone interrupted the conversation and Alucard answered it, "Hello, Crimson Fucker speaking?"

On the other end a loud feminine voice could be heard screaming, "Alucard where the hell are you! You fucked up all my painting, giving me a headache, and there's is nothing on the news yet! What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing yet, I'm going to Brazil." The vampire ended the call then asked the demon, "Any good placed to do some damage around here."

The demon looked on, irritated before, glancing at the dead girl's body; _I hope that red haired thing isn't coming._

As if some higher power was trying to screw over Sebastian, Grell dropped down from the ceiling, nearly landing on the demon's back, "Bassie, How I've missed you!"

"Grell Sutcliff, leave me alone."

"Bassie, you're still so cold to me."

The red haired shemale waved 'her' chainsaw around and spotted the red clad vampire, who asked, "What the fuck is that?"

"A beautiful woman, who is absolutely driven mad with the color you've painted yourself!"

Grell twirled around, abandoning the dead girl and her soul, and wrapped his arms around the red vampire. "Alucard you're so beautiful, I want to bear your crimson children!"

The vampire visibly shuddered, trying to reach his gun. The demon, smiled, happy someone else was suffering at the hand of the red haired thing. "The fuck is this!? My name's the Crimson Fucker!"

"Ooo, that's even sexier! I'm so fired up right now!" Grell threw himself at Alucard who stood frozen as the newly infatuated shinigami kissed him.

Sebastian slipped out the room and Alucard threw Grell to the floor, "Don't leave me here with this!"

His loud plea was partially drowned out by Grell screaming, "I love it rough!" Alucard turned back to the thing called Grell, who was lying on the floor with his shirt partially unbuttoned and had his legs wide open.

"You're a man!"

"No! I'm simply trapped in a man's body!" Sebastian's laughed could be hear echoing about in the front room, as shots were fired, from Alucard's gun. _Master must be happy with my work if that thing has forgotten about me, even if it's only temporary._

**(A/N: Endings probably bad but, come one, Alucard gets the ultimate fan'girl' XD This is my first time doing something involving Hellsing, so I hope I didn't troll it too much, I also apologize if Grell wasn't kept completely in character, he's kinda of hard to keep exactaly the same *cough* along with undertaker *cough***

**Anywho…please review, I love feedback, no trolls though, that's just annoying and that's practically what youtube comments are for XD *jumps away like a ninja*)**


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